Dear yyc and others it may concern,
As some of you know my computer blew up a few weeks ago. I lost everything. Every scan, every file over the past 3 years. This would bother most people. That feeling of starting over, losing something valuable. At first my feelings were alike. But then it dawned on me. In my case I am fortunate. Very fortunate to have everything archived with negatives. Every negative, every slide everything are strategically categorized in binders. Dated back to 2007 all conveniently stored in boxes in the crawl space under my house.
Sitting there gazing over these boxes filled with binders, stray prints, paper negatives and contact sheets. I think about how I am over the “digital darkroom”. I sit at my computer for hours and hours scanning film. The end result are files? Just a file? It’s just a file…. I ask myself “Why do I even shoot film if I hardly even print? I might as well be shooting digital” In my opinion, Film shouldn’t be some sort of novelty format. And although my work is strictly analog I still feel partly feel guilty for that.
This year has been full of change for me. Firstly, moving into a new apartment, watching as my parents prepare to sell the house I grew up in. Secondly, celebrating one year of continuous sobriety. And thirdly, struggling with drive as and artist battling depression. But most importantly something that has never changed has been my passion. So I’ve changed almost every aspect of my life. Why not complete change with my workflow as an artist.
I understand it’s important to share ones work, with a community of other photographers. To share ideas, development recipes, places and people. But at the end of the day slaving over a computer. Yes a computer of all things (something that is so polar opposite to my analog photography) it doesn’t seem rewarding or logical anymore.
So I guess the rational conclusion I could draw would be to print more. Just print. Print until my house is cluttered with paper scraps and fixer stains. Print until I am confident enough to show my work again. Printing not to sell but to grow as a photographer with traditional editing (and I realize culling through 7 years of work is a tedious task but I am willing and determined)
I’m going to be going strictly analog I’ll post some scans of contact sheets here and there and some prints but that’s about it. So Thank you again (all 1006 of my followers) for continually supporting me. I will never give up on photography, music and art as I believe it is my main direction in life. I thank all of you for letting me fill your tiny dashboards with photographs and paragraphs of things that my brain spills.